Woman Won’t Attend Sister’s Wedding at Venue That Isn’t Wheelchair Accessible

The sister of a bride is asking the internet for their thoughts after her sibling picked a wedding venue that is not wheelchair accessible.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, a 24-year-old woman wrote that her sister — who she has “no issues” with — is getting married soon, but apparently did not consider her when planning the wedding festivities. The ceremony is set to take place at a venue that is “not accessible to wheelchairs,” the Reddit user wrote, as she asked others if she’d be in the wrong for missing the ceremony altogether, instead giving a gift to her sibling and spending some quality time with her at another point.

“I have a significant disability (paraplegia) and cannot move at all without a wheelchair, so going there would be tough,” the Reddit user wrote. “She told me that I could be carried up any stairs and then stay at the tables, but that’s not something I’m comfortable with.”

Adding that getting carried is both “uncomfortable and dangerous,” the Reddit user explained that she also wouldn’t “expect people to just sit with me” during the celebration. Sitting for hours at a time can hurt, and she “wouldn’t ask someone to leave the wedding just for me,” she wrote.

“I’m not upset about the fact that they picked that venue, it’s their day and I don’t expect them to plan it based on my needs, but I also don’t think she understands that it’s not as easy as she thinks,” the Reddit user wrote. “There are so many things that could go very wrong.”

“One of my cousins told me that it’s just one day and that it’s very important for my sister, so I should make an effort and ‘get out of my comfort zone,’ but I feel like endangering my health isn’t as simple as getting out of my comfort zone,” she wrote. “So, [would I be the a——‘] for not going?”

Commenters agreed that the woman is looking out for herself given the circumstances — with the top comment reading that she has “more of a responsibility to yourself and your physical health and safety than you do to your sister’s wedding day.”

“For anyone who gives you grief about that, the argument you use is, ‘They’ve picked a venue that is not accessible to me, so I can’t go. It’s not my decision whether to go or not — they made that decision for me by picking an inaccessible venue,'” the comment read.

In response, the sister of the bride wrote that she isn’t “mad about the fact that they picked something not accessible,” but expects them to “understand that prioritizing my health is more important than that.”

Another Reddit user wrote that the woman’s sister “sounds like she is too caught up in wedding planning to even realize what she is suggesting.”

“Which is for her adult sister to be carried all over a wedding venue, upstairs and to the bathrooms as needed, and to just sit at a table all [alone] and watch the festivities until someone carries her out to leave,” they wrote, calling the proposition “ridiculous.”

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Speaking with Brides in 2022, occupational therapist Erin Fitzgibbons said most conventional wedding venues (such as hotels or banquet halls) should likely be compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act — something brides and grooms should be aware of when making sure their ceremonies are accessible for all of their guests.

Those planning weddings should also be thinking of necessities including ADA-compliant restrooms, the height of their dining tables and plus-ones so guests can “bring an aid, friend or family member to join them at the event,” among other factors, the outlet notes. The Knot has also previously shared a list of popular accessible venues throughout the country.