Lady Says Her Associate’s ‘Very Needy’ Ex Is Contacting Him at Inappropriate Instances

A lady says that her boyfriend’s “very needy” ex retains contacting him at inappropriate instances —  and she or he thinks he ought to say one thing.

The girl detailed her expertise within the “Am I Being Unreasonable” discussion board on the U.Ok.-based neighborhood web site Mumsnet. In her put up, the girl defined that she and her present accomplice have been collectively for 2 years and that they moved in collectively “round Christmas.”

The unique poster (OP) stated that her accomplice shares a 4-year-old daughter with a lady with whom he had a one-night stand a number of years in the past. She stated that the daughter stays with them for about half of every week, and typically, “it’s all pretty,” and she or he’s proud of their life.

The issue? The girl has some “points” with the mom of her accomplice’s daughter.

“She appears very needy,” the OP defined, including, “She’s going to textual content my [partner] asking for a swap of days [for their daughter] in just a few weeks time, and if he doesn’t reply in about 10 minutes, she’s going to name repeatedly.”

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“She has additionally began calling him at very odd hours — 12 a.m., for instance — if she will’t settle their daughter. My [partner] additionally doesn’t reply these calls, however she persists,” she continued.

The OP stated that the girl usually tries to maintain her accomplice in unnecessarily lengthy conversations at pick-ups and drop-offs, and one time even talked about that she thought her present accomplice was having an affair.

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The OP went on to say that the opposite girl initially wished a romantic relationship together with her accomplice when she first grew to become pregnant, however he didn’t reciprocate the sentiments.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] to search out any such habits odd? And what do I do?” the OP finally requested in regards to the different girl’s calls and feedback. 

“[My partner] thinks ignoring is the perfect method, however I believe it’s actually disrespectful,” the girl added.

Most commenters stated that they thought ignoring the habits was truly the perfect method — and stated they thought the OP ought to reduce the opposite girl some slack.

“You do nothing. This isn’t your circus and these aren’t your monkeys,” one particular person stated.

They added, “[Your partner] is correct to disregard it. She’s probably lonely and searching for somebody to share the arduous instances of parenting with, and it’s clearly not splendid that [your partner] is a co-parent moderately than her live-in accomplice, however she’s not crossing any boundaries in your relationship or doing something incorrect right here. [Your partner] simply must maintain upholding his boundaries and take care of it when a state of affairs arises.”

One other particular person stated, “When you may have a child with someone, you’re a part of one another’s lives for good, whether or not that’s for higher or worse. Your [partner] was 50% answerable for the creation of his youngster, and […] it’s going to by no means be so simple as saying it isn’t his drawback. Sure, she sounds troublesome, however equally, that is his kid’s mom you are speaking about.”

The identical particular person added, “Your [partner] appears like he has an excellent learn on the state of affairs and is doing the suitable issues. It’s essential cease making an attempt to alter that and determine for your self whether or not you wish to stick with him or not.”